Army of Anyone

I was driving around Hilton Head Island a few summers ago delivering pizza for Papa John's when the Velvet Revolver debut album came out, and besides JoJo and a little 'Tallica, I pretty much had that VR disc going in my car non-stop. The album was pretty solid, four or five pretty decent tracks and some good filler material in between. The whole supergroup experiment worked with these guys; Guns N' Roses and Stone Temple Pilots came together and made a quality record.

So I guess we can call Army of Anyone a smaller-scaled supergroup - they don't have the big names that VR has (Slash and Duff and the drummer from Guns N' Roses, Scott Weiland of STP), but they're quality musicians (Richard Patrick of Filter on vocals, the DeLeo brothers of STP on guitar, and a pretty kickass drummer I've never heard of). So my interest was certainly piqued when I heard these guys were coming out with an album this fall. I was never a HUGE STP fan or a HUGE Filter fan (the way I am with Metallica, U2, and used to be with Foo Fighters), but I definitely dug their stuff. I remember in middle or high school borrowing Filter's Title of Record from Justin Powers and blaring "Welcome to the Fold" (a kick-ass tune that still holds up today) in my room when I got home. Put it this way, if STP and Filter had Greatest Hits albums, I would probably pick them up. Actually, maybe STP does have a Hits record, but whatever, you get the point.

So what happens when two solid rock bands like Filter and STP make a record together? Well... hmm. How can I put this nicely?

It's OK.

Regrettably, it's just OK.

Maybe I was expecting too much. The first AoA single, "Goodbye," is one of those hard, driving, hard-driving rock songs that I love. You know how it goes... Heeeeeeyyyyyyy Goooooooooooooodbyyyyeeee, Wish you were here.... It's got a good riff, really good drumming, good vocals, and best of all, it's one of those songs that gets right to the point. No little intro riffs, just straight balls-out, in-your-face rock. And then at the end, it's got that really good drumming that you just don't hear in a rock song anymore. It's just a great track; in my humble opinion, it should be up for some kind of Best Rock Song award. The rest of the album? Not so much.

It's never a good thing when your first single off a record is not only the best track on the record, it's far and away the best track on the record. (Why buy the album when you can hear the best part of it on the radio for free? (Not that I condone listening to terrestrial radio.)) And that's what we have here on the AoA disc. There just aren't many decent tracks here; #1 is a slightly above-average opener (think of it as the Trot Nixon of album-opening rock tracks) but it's not as good as #2, which is the aforementioned "Goodbye" song. After tracks one and two, there are some forgettable songs; #5 was advertised as a potential hit but I don't see it happening.

Track #6, "Disappear," is interesting because it had a lot of potential to be great - like maybe even "Take a Picture"-great - but it falls short. Richard Patrick, if you're out there reading this, hear me out for a minute. You've got a great opening to this track - little simple guitar strumming for a quick few seconds before the rest of the band sets in with a good rock sound. The verses are decent - not great but good enough to work within a hit song - but your problem is that the chorus sucks. "I try to disappear" - yes, that part. Just doesn't cut it, it's not very catchy at all. I'm listening in my car, thinking that this track can go somewhere, but it doesn't, and it's because of a lousy chorus. You know why "Take a Picture" was so huge, because it had an awesome sound with an almost equally as good refrain: "Could you take my pictureeeee, 'cause I won't remember..." It worked. The whole song worked. And you were close to taking "Disappear" to that level, but it didn't happen.

By the way, now that I bring up Richard Patrick, I had an epiphany about this guy the other day. Now, am I crazy, or is he one of the more underrated vocalists of our era? I think the common misconception about this guy is that he's a screamer, because I think a lot of people associate Richard Patrick and Filter with their first single, "Hey Man Nice Shot," which you'll remember was a loud song with screaming. And so because of that I think a lot of people slough him off as a marginal vocalist.

But I think we've been short-changing Patrick, because the other day I heard a Family Values concert recording of Patrick and Flyleaf covering "Pride (In the Name of Love)," and you know what? The guy freaking pulled it off. I think it takes 1) balls and more importantly, 2) a shitload of talent to sing a U2 song without having people immediately think how much better Bono sounds. So I'm saying it's time we start giving Richard Patrick a lot more credit as a singer.

Back to the album: There's not much worth discussing after track #6. I was disappointed to realize that track #9, "Father Figure," was, in fact, not a George Michael cover. But that song definitely more Filter-sounding than anything else on the record, and actually, it's not that bad of a track. Track #10 is OK. And I don't think I've made it all the way through track #11 yet.

And that's your album. I'm giving it two out of four stars. It's worth a few spins in your CD player, and "Goodbye" is definitely rocking, but the rest of the record doesn't stack up.

How does it compare to the Velvet Revolver debut album, you ask? Well, it holds up to an extent, but quite simply it's just not as good, and it's a shame because I like Richard Patrick and I like what his brother Robert did with his roles as T-1000 in T-2 and as a degenerate gambler in season two of The Sopranos. As for VR's disc, the first single ("Slither") wasn't the best song on the album ("Fall to Pieces"), and tracks #1, #4, #6, and #10 were all solid rock tracks. I give VR's disc three stars, and with it, the edge in debut albums from STP supergroups.

OSU - Michigan 11.18.06

OK, a couple of things here.

1. Before the game on the CBS show, Craig James said something to the effect of whoever lost this game should not play in the National Championship in January. Later, during the call of the game, color commentator Bob Davie made the same point and added that it was his national championship, right there and then. I couldn't understand this logic before the game was even played, let alone after a 42-39 game WHEN PEOPLE ARE STILL SAYING THIS! Look, there is nothing you can tell me to make me think that the two best teams in the country shouldn't be playing in the national championship, and there is nothing you can tell me to make me think that UM and OSU aren't the best teams in the country. Yet this is what some of these "pundits" will WANT you to believe. I don't know if it's SEC or Pac-10 bias that's making these people say these things, because I don't even think there's a logical case AGAINST having a rematch.

Here are the facts: 1) Michigan has one loss -- to the #1 team in the country by THREE points on said #1 team's turf. Now, in my book, and according to most Vegas bookmakers, home-field advantage equals three points. THREE POINTS. So yep, I'm gonna make the argument that home-field advantage won this game for the Buckeyes. I don't know, do you think for certain that OSU goes into Ann Arbor and wins? I don't see that. 2) USC, the team who would sneak by UM if this craziness comes to pass, lost to UNRANKED Oregon St. OK, USC had a slightly tougher overall schedule than UM, but every one of their wins over ranked opponents was at home. (Yeah, that's right, the kid's doing a little research for this entry.) Fortunately, USC will lose at home to Notre Dame on Saturday, which will end this USC silliness. 3) Blah blah blah Florida and blah blah blah Arkansas, bottom line: these teams would be DESTROYED by either OSU or UM on a neutral field. Who wants to see the SEC in the national title game anyway? Oh, and Notre Dame? The same Irish who got the shit pounded out of them AT HOME by UM, 47-21? Those guys? Yeah, thought so.

So here's what it boils down to: the Craig Jameses and the Bob Davies of the world say that a loss to Ohio State by three points in Columbus should take Michigan out of the national title picture. I say BOOLSHIT! And sorry Bob Davie, but last time I checked, they didn't hold national championship games in Columbus, OH with 100,000 screaming fans pulling for the Buckeyes.

Put these teams on a neutral field and we'll see what happens. Michigan's earned the right.

2) The game itself was a good game. Not great, good. So I thought it a bit premature when I saw the "Instant Classic" tag. To me, great games don't end with one team running out the clock/kneeling with the other team unable to stop the clock. Great games don't hinge upon a stupid personal 15 yard penalty that gives the winning team a first down and the means to score an insurance TD. Great games have an exciting onside kick situation (if it's needed), and either the underdog recovers it or at least there's a little drama as to who will recover. There was none of that drama in this game. This was a good game.

Sure, there was a lot of scoring, there was a lot of back and forth, there was a lot of an excited Brent Musberger. But it wasn't great, and it left me wanting more. I guess that's my point here in this inaugural post. I want one more game. On a neutral field. Give us a rematch.